I’m looking for love…
…and struggling to find it.
There are inherent issues with being a submissive male, and meeting a compatible partner and lover is high on that list. As any like-minded man has discovered, finding a dominant woman for a long term relationship doesn’t come easily. Most women are not socialized to accept — or even consider — a relationship that is intentionally and transparently woman-centric and led. That’s not to say there aren’t women who prefer to lead their romantic relationships with men — there are — but they’re frustratingly too few in number and not quick to reveal themselves or outlook to others. I have long advocated the bountiful benefits female-led relationships offer women and through my writing on the topic of feminine leadership have been privileged to meet and romance two remarkable dominant women. But those relationships have since ended and I am now eager to serve and submit to a woman again in a long-term relationship/marriage.
I do not see myself as a “kinkster” and have purposefully stayed away from kink-oriented personal sites. I am searching for nothing less than a loving relationship with a dominant woman; not a hook-up or one-off experience. I’m not into clubs, BD/SM, costuming or any sort of public scene. I simply wish to be an attentive, adoring and obedient partner/lover/husband for my Ms. Right. My solution: Bumble. It is a mainstream dating site with one curious caveat: women make the first move. Like most dating apps, you swipe right for yes; left for no. But it is up to women to decide whether to initiate a conversation; they have the upper-hand when it comes to engaging with a male candidate and naturally, I love that.
My approach on Bumble has been subtle. I intentionally steered clear of openly identifying myself as a submissive man or specifically referencing my desire for a FLR-style relationship. My profile speaks to my respect and reverence for women; my progressive/feminist stance and an acknowledgment that I am chivalrous, ego-reduced and non-alpha. The response so far has been encouraging but not totally satisfying. Most women who respond are attractive, well-educated, urban-oriented, open-minded and pleasantly surprised and pleased with my philogynist outlook. And admittedly, a few women have read between the lines of my personal. They get what I want. But too often, it is not be quite right for them. I have yet to receive the elusive: “john, I am a dominant woman and I would like to speak to you about how you may best serve me…” introduction though I remain hopeful. I often end up engaging in long-running text-dances where we each disclose bits and bobs about ourselves until it either moves to a call or we move on. At this stage, and despite a lot of swiping, I’m still searching, still hoping and still optimistic I’ll hear from her.
