Expect to be spanked.
And if chosen, become one of several men in subservient service to this millennial dominant woman seeking submission from those worthy and willing to spoil, pamper and please her. I met this remarkable woman on AboutFLR.com — an online forum for those of us who celebrate and promote feminine leadership — and asked if she would be willing to share her insights on why she enjoys dominating submissive men. Though she has never been in a formal Female Led Relationship, she knows that choosing an obedient partner and lover — perhaps more than one — is the right choice for her. But suitors beware, she is a strict disciplinarian and has no qualms about the benefits inherent in employing corporal correction on any sub who steps out of line. Ouch! This smart, no-nonsense businesswoman, in her early 40’s, is committed to finding a sub who not only complements her views and values but is eager to please in the bedroom and beyond. It is always refreshing to hear directly from women who prefer to lead their relationships with attentive, respectful, compliant men — like me — who understand their place and purpose is always in devoted service and submission to strong women. As always, I asked some questions and am publishing her verbatim answers. (Bold highlights and underlining mine).
Q: What does being a dominant woman mean to you?
A: The types of dominant women are as varied as the women themselves. Each has their own kinks and quirks. My personal style of dominance is what I call natural. I have been a natural leader my whole life. For many years I struggled with it because our society doesn’t look favorably on dominant outspoken women. Thankfully I was introduced to FLR several years ago and found a place where my natural dominant tendencies are celebrated rather than condemned. One of my “spankees” called me a “life coach disciplinarian.” I want my subs to leave the relationship as better people and better subs, understanding what drives them to serve so they can serve better.
Q: What are you looking for in a submissive man?
A: A submissive male…hmmm… Personally I would like to have several lol. I want to work with the subs aptitude. If a sub enjoys cooking he will do a better job. If he has some OCD tendencies he will do a better job cleaning. Of course anything can be taught but I want them to feel fulfilled in their roles. Whoever they are they must be good at following directions. Of course I am open to them asking questions if they want a better understanding but those questions should be asked respectfully. I would also expect them to have a basic understanding of The Five Languages of Love. Even though this is a vanilla relationship book I think it can be applied to almost any relationship including FLR. I want a sub boyfriend who “speaks my language”. I want a sub who spoils and pampers me. I do believe in discipline and feel spanking can be cathartic. So someone who understands infractions will be disciplined is a must as well. Beyond that, of course I expect them to be able to carry on a conversation.
Q: What has your online search for a submissive man been like?
A: I would say it’s about on par with any vanilla online dating I did before I discovered FLR. Some people are assholes. Some aren’t. I haven’t found the perfect guy or guys for me yet but I am having fun chatting with different ones. Of course there have been a couple bad experiences. I try to not focus on those though.
Q: What kind of experience have you had with submissive men?
A: I only discovered FLR a few years ago, so haven’t had the chance to have one in real life. However, I can look back on past relationships and see the best parts of the relationship were female led. As for submissive guys, I discovered I really enjoy spanking sessions and have had several. They make me feel incredibly powerful. I like to chat with them before to find out what they need the spanking for, offer suggestions for how to avoid it in the future or how to reframe it to make it positive. I have also had a sub come over to do household chores for me or run me on errands. So a variety of experiences that I would like to combine into an ongoing FLR.
Q: What specifically excites you about a FLR with a submissive man?
A: Knowing that there is someone who will be supportive and wants to put me first. It’s exciting to know there will be someone who only wants to make my life easier, or better. Of course I want both of us to be fulfilled.
Q: Your thoughts on enforced chastity for your submissive?
A: Enforced chastity is an essential tool for a dominant woman to manage her sub. It helps focus his energy into more productive pursuits. I do think once a week masturbation is necessary for the prostate health of the sub. I also think chastity helps show devotion to the female in the relationship. Something that can be hidden from the rest of the world but is a constant reminder. Being in chastity also brings more enjoyment to the sub when he is permitted release which serves to remind him that the woman he serves is the key to his happiness and fulfillment.
